A Fashionable Folly

Pahrump’s Misused 9-1-1

The good people of Nye County have taken a newfound fancy, dialing 9-1-1 for purposes as varied as social calls and imaginary home invasions, much to the chagrin of Sheriff Joe McGill and his band of long-suffering deputies. In a modern marvel of miscommunication, the emergency dispatch lines have been ringing off the hook with requests that range from bewildering to the outright absurd.

“This month alone, we’ve had no fewer than half a dozen emergency calls where the only emergency was our deputies’ blood pressure rising upon arrival,” Sheriff McGill lamented.

The sheriff, a man of patience but not infinite supply, explained that while his department is happy to assist in genuine distress, routine misuse of 9-1-1 has become a rather irksome drain on resources. In the grand spirit of generosity, callers get four or five free warnings before they receive the dubious privilege of a stay in the county jail.

“We don’t want to discourage folks from calling when they actually need help,” McGill said. “But when we receive six calls from the same house about imaginary intruders, we have to draw the line somewhere. Unfortunately, some of these cases involve mental health issues or a bit too much of the local moonshine.”

One especially enterprising fellow is in the habit of calling dispatch repeatedly just to bid them a cheerful “hello,” a practice which, while perhaps demonstrating good manners, is still grounds for an arrest. Another citizen, whose commitment to wasting taxpayer dollars was admirable, dialed 9-1-1 while standing in the presence of two uniformed deputies already addressing his loud music complaint.

For those who feel compelled to summon law enforcement over matters that fail to meet the threshold of an actual emergency, the sheriff’s office kindly suggests using their non-emergency line at 775-751-7000. Should one persist in ringing 9-1-1 with imaginary crises or late-night pleasantries, they may face a gross misdemeanor charge, which, in simple terms, means up to a year in jail and $2,000 lighter in the wallet.

The lesson here, dear citizens, is that while the fine people of Nye County law enforcement will always be ready to answer a call for help, they prefer that such calls contain at least some semblance of reality.