The Great Nevada Drop Box Extravaganza

When a man has a dollar in his pocket, a politician is somewhere nearby scheming how to spend it. And if that man lives in Nevada, he will soon find that not only is his dollar spoken for, but his vote must now travel through a freshly minted labyrinth, designed not so much to improve the system as to complicate it to the satisfaction of Democratic lawmakers.

Such is the case with AB 306, a legislative marvel brought forth by Assembly Speaker Steve Yeager and Senate Majority Leader Nicole Cannizzaro, who have determined that the citizens of Nevada are in desperate need of additional mail ballot drop boxes during the mysterious three-day chasm between early voting and Election Day. That a man might have survived all his previous years without such convenience is of no consequence—lawmakers are here to remedy an affliction they have just discovered.

The bill demands no fewer than ten new drop boxes for Clark County–home of Las Vegas, where votes vanish faster than a rabbit in a magician’s hat and five for Washoe County, where Reno resides, clinging to its lost dignity. These boxes shall remain open seven hours a day on the Saturday, Sunday, and Monday before Election Day, presumably so that ballots may wander in at their leisure, unburdened by the constraints of traditional voting hours.

Now, one might reasonably ask: if vote centers already serve as mail ballot drop-off locations, why must we tinker further? The answer, of course, is as plain as a mule’s ears—because there exists a three-day stretch where these locations are closed.

It might seem a natural consequence of an orderly election process to the average citizen. But in the inventive mind of a lawmaker, it is an insurmountable crisis requiring immediate legislative intervention.

Thus, with the noble spirit of those who fix what ain’t broke while leaving the broken untouched, the state of Nevada marches forth into another grand electoral experiment, ensuring that no ballot shall suffer the indignity of waiting its turn. And, in the grand tradition of political progress, taxpayers can rest easy knowing that their hard-earned dollars are hard at work—whether they asked for it or not.