Fiore and the Forty Thieves of Bureaucracy

Gather round and lend me your common sense—for we’ve another parable from the Silver State, where politics ain’t just a profession–it’s a full-blown rodeo. The latest bronco buckin’ the headlines is none other than Michele Fiore, Nevada’s pistol-packin’ truth-talkin’ councilwoman-turned-convict, who just got thrown under the wagon by a federal judge with all the warmth of a stovepipe hat in a hailstorm.

The Honorable–by title only–Judge Jennifer Dorsey, dressed in her Sunday best black robe and drippin’ with the solemnity of an undertaker at a gold rush funeral, saw fit to deny Ms. Fiore a new trial. Now, Ms. Fiore, bless her battle-scarred reputation, had requested as much—sayin’ her first legal team had all the spine of boiled asparagus and couldn’t lawyer their way out of a saloon tab.

But Dorsey, who was plucked and polished by none other than President Obama, dismissed Fiore’s plea like a gambler tossin’ snake eyes. In a tome that spanned 77 pages—written in the King’s English and the Devil’s punctuation—Dorsey said the jury had it right–that Fiore used bank wires to swindle goodhearted donors and stuff her corset with the spoils.

It smells like old fish wrapped in last week’s Comstock Chronicle.

The funds in question were for a memorial to Officer Alyn Beck, a man who gave his life in the line of duty. But the government claims Fiore took that money and rerouted it like a stagecoach on the lam—straight into her rent, her daughter’s wedding, and even, Heaven help us, some cosmetic upgrades.

And sure–it don’t sound good when you say it like that. But this is a state where politicians use taxpayer dollars for everything from foot massages to foie gras, and yet Fiore’s the one gettin’ dragged behind the horse.

Her new attorney, Paola Armeni—who wisely kept herself clear of the trial’s initial circus—says they’re “extremely disappointed.” Well, of course, they are. The lady didn’t get a trial–she got a performance and not the good kind, but more like a traveling medicine show where the tonic’s weak and the bearded lady’s also the judge.

And let us not forget the most curious detail of all–the prosecution’s star witness was Governor Joe Lombardo, who dropped a $5,000 donation into the pot like it was his personal poker table. Shortly after, it danced to Fiore’s daughter’s account to cover Mama’s rent.

I’ve played enough political strip poker to know a setup when I see one.

So here stands Michele Fiore, firebrand, patriot, and the Left’s favorite dartboard, waitin’ for her sentence while the political class polishes their halos. She’s been called a fraudster by those who couldn’t balance a budget if their lives depended on it.

While I ain’t sayin’ she’s a saint—I can say in a nation where the real thieves wear tailored suits and call each other “Senator,” I reckon Michele Fiore might be the wrong kind of outlaw for this newfangled empire.