Chattah Raises Cain in Lovelock

Millions Vanish, and Powers That Be Are Scare’t

Now I reckon there ain’t a soul west of the Rockies who hasn’t heard tell of them new-fangled fiber wires–meant to zip words and pictures through the air like greased lightning, or so they say. But in the fine town of Lovelock–where tumbleweeds roll straighter than the books kept by some contractors–a highfalutin broadband project got sold to the public like a ticket to the future, and now folks are wonderin’ where the money went, along with their promised internet.

Interim U.S. Attorney Sigal Chattah, a woman who seems to believe laws ain’t just for the little folks, pulled back the curtain Friday and announced a federal probe into a fiber optic boondoggle that’s gone belly-up with a mighty splash. It seems Uncle Sam and the Nevada Department of Transportation gave out wheelbarrows full of dollars–$27 million from the feds and $9 million from the state–to string lines and light up the desert with sweet connectivity. Instead, they got lawsuits, broken promises, and the sort of bookkeeping that’d make a gambler blush.

“This month,” Miss Chattah declared, with all the calm of a gunslinger at a church social, “the United States Attorney’s Office was brought a case and has now opened an investigation into allegations that misappropriation may have occurred…”

I’ll stop her there–because anyone with a dictionary knows what that means–somebody ran off with the money.

Uprise Fiber was supposed to bring high-speed salvation to Lovelock. But not long after the first shovel hit the dirt–if it did at all–bank records showed its head honcho, one Stephen Kromer, emptied the coffers like a fox in a henhouse. His family, quick as a sneeze, distanced themselves faster than a Baptist from a gambling den. The USDA, not known for hasty decisions unless slaughtering chickens–hauled out the audit book in March of 2025 and discovered Uprise’s paperwork had more holes than a miner’s sock.

Matching funds? Nope. Construction costs? Inflated like a carnival balloon. Equipment? Let’s say the receipts looked more like wish lists to Santa than anything else.

But here’s the kicker–the Nevada state legislature, in its infinite wisdom–and apparent fear of mirrors–decided there’s no need to investigate themselves. Senator Melanie Scheible, chairwoman of not-rocking-the-boat, stated they’d let the feds handle it–thank you kindly.

Ain’t that just convenient?

Now, you might ask yourself–why would anyone have a bone to pick with Chattah for doing her job? I’ll tell you–because the last thing the powerful want is a woman who don’t scare easy, sniffin’ around their gold-plated follies. She’s rattlin’ the cages of comfortable people in high places, and that sort of thing don’t make you many friends in Carson City or D.C.

So next time you hear someone high up bad-mouthin’ Sigal Chattah, remember it might not be ‘cause she’s wrong–it might be ‘cause she’s right. And Lord, help the scoundrel who bets she’ll back down.

In the meantime, the good people of Lovelock are left with no broadband, no answers, and no sign of their missing millions–just the desert wind and a promise broken wide open.