The Long Arm Grabs One of Its Own

The law is like a shotgun—it works best when handled by someone with both aim and decency, but what happens when the one holdin’ the gun forgets which end goes bang?

Take Miss Shana Bachman, for instance. Once upon a time, she fancied herself fit to don the robe of a Justice Court Judge in Las Vegas. She ran a campaign and everything—smiles, handshakes, promises of justice from a menu. Voters, however, weren’t buying what she was selling, and she went back to being a public defender, this time up in Washoe County.

But justice has a funny way of catching up, even if it has to ride in the back of a Metro cruiser. On a quiet Sunday evening, Miss Bachman was reportedly seen driving her carriage with the grace of a headless chicken—arms flailing, tires swerving, and stop signs treated as mere suggestions. Upon closer inspection, officers say they found two open beer cans riding shotgun and a bag of what polite society calls “bad decisions in powder form.”

With her tongue as tangled as her driving, Miss Bachman admitted she’d been drinkin’. She asked the officers if they might show a little mercy because she was almost under the limit—an argument about as persuasive as a cat asking a bird for forgiveness mid-pounce. She now faces a stew of charges: DUI, felony possession, and more traffic violations than a Reno roundabout on a Friday night.

And wouldn’t you know it—she ain’t the only lawyer in Nevada trading in courtrooms for court dates. Another former public defender, Gary Guymon, finds himself embroiled in accusations of running a prostitution ring and plotting murder.

It makes you wonder if the courthouse ought to install a revolving door.

As for Washoe County, they’re clutchin’ their Black’s Law and whisperin’ “no comment” while the matter’s under investigation—which, in legalese, means–we sure wish this hadn’t happened on our watch.