Gas Gougers Strike Again as Nevadans Get Bent Over Further

The vultures are at it again.

Nevada drivers woke up this week with 26.1 cents less in their wallets and nothing to show for it but fumes and betrayal. The average price for gas in this stretch of scorched earth is now a disgusting $3.91 per gallon, up nearly 20 cents from last week, like some sick joke played by invisible hands behind the oil curtain.

But wait—there’s a carrot dangling just out of reach. National prices ticked up too–10.6 cents on average. That’s nothing compared to this local bloodletting. And yet, they’ve got the gall to say it might go down. Eventually. Maybe. If the stars align and no one screws it up further. Fantastic.

Patrick De Haan, GasBuddy’s head oil whisperer and part-time economic psychic, assures us that because oil prices are nosediving—thanks to tariffs slapped together by baboons in suits and OPEC+ cranking the pumps like it’s 1973—we might catch a break. He says a recession could stomp demand and, in turn, send gas prices falling “nearly coast-to-coast.”

That’s economist talk for–buckle up, the market’s on meth, and we’re all just along for the ride.

And don’t forget, oil is now cheaper than it’s been since 2021–when the only traffic jam was on the way to get toilet paper. But instead of passing on the savings, your local gas station is busy soaking you blind while offering hot dogs that qualify as biological weapons.

“If tariffs aren’t scaled back soon,” De Haan bleated, “we could see prices drop below $3 per gallon nationwide.”

Like that would be a bad thing. That’s rich.

Meanwhile, Nevada’s paying premium prices for mid-grade garbage, and you’re supposed to smile while you pump it. The whole thing reeks of bad faith and Exxon aftershave.