Legislators Aim to Fix the Unbroke

To Keep Themselves Busy

The Nevada Legislature, never one to let a smoothly running thing alone, is now setting its sights on the 988 Suicide and Crisis Hotline with a bill that promises to improve it—by burying it under a fresh heap of bureaucracy.

Hatched by Assemblywoman Rebecca Edgeworth, Assembly Bill 380 sets out to improve the business of saving folks in distress by assembling a whole committee to do the job a single good Samaritan used to handle just fine.

“The bill will save the state money and let police and firefighters focus on crime and medical emergencies,” Edgeworth declared as if she had discovered a long-lost commandment. “It will also ensure people get the care they need, which is why all municipalities support it.”

Under this grand new plan, a troubled soul won’t merely find a helping hand but an entire delegation—police, doctors, and an assortment of well-meaning experts who will, no doubt, spend a fair bit of time deciding who ought to help first. Whether a drowning man prefers a life preserver or a lengthy intake form remains to be seen.

One might wonder why a perfectly functional crisis line needs restructuring to work–a question best left unasked, lest one find oneself the subject of the next legislative improvement.