A Great and Magnificent Halt

The Trials of Travelers in Silver Springs

Citizens of this grand and free republic, take heed!

The Nevada Department of Transportation, in its boundless wisdom and fatherly concern for your well-being, has decreed that the great thoroughfare known as U.S. 50 shall henceforth be a most deliberate and vexatious impediment. Beginning Wednesday, February 19, and extending through the merry days of March–or until the good Lord himself intervenes–all who dare traverse the stretch near the Lahontan River Campground shall find themselves at the mercy of a single-lane closure, a most industrious workforce, and a temporary signal of dubious reliability.

The bridge—now undergoing a reconstruction of such importance that even Julius Caesar would nod approvingly—shall be reduced to a solitary passage, with traffic alternating in a manner that will surely test the patience of even the most saintly among us. The stoppages shall persist through all hours of the day and night, a democratic inconvenience shared equally by all.

To further prolong the agony, a reduction in speed to a snail-like 25 miles per hour shall be imposed, lest some reckless soul attempt to escape too swiftly from this bureaucratic marvel. Thus, dear travelers, steel your nerves, pack provisions, and prepare for a journey of uncommon delay, all in the noble pursuit of progress.