Protesters, Pistols, and Driver with an Itchy Trigger Finger

(Allegedly, Of Course)

CARSON CITY, Nev.—In a development that will surprise no one familiar with the fine art of public discourse these days, a motorist allegedly pointed a gun at a group of protesters outside the Nevada State Capitol on Wednesday. Whether the driver was making a political statement, exercising his Second Amendment rights in an avant-garde manner–or just demonstrating that he failed Anger Management 101 remains to be determined.

The Carson City Sheriff’s Office reports that around 2:07 PM, a dispute broke out between a driver and some protesters because no one in this country can agree to disagree anymore. Witnesses claim the motorist brandished a firearm, presumably to underscore the eloquence of his counterargument.

In most circles—legal, social, and otherwise—pointing a firearm at another human being is considered a tad uncivilized. Nevada law has a fancy name for it: “assault with a deadly weapon,” which, as the more observant among us may have deduced, is frowned upon and classified as a felony.

The Sheriff’s Office assures the public that everyone involved is known, meaning the motorist has at least a fighting chance of explaining why he thought waving a gun around was an appropriate method of debate. Officials insist there is no ongoing threat, which is a relief—except, of course, for those of us who must still navigate the highways with these fine specimens of human composure behind the wheel.

Witnesses to the incident are encouraged to contact the Carson City Sheriff’s Office or, if feeling particularly tattle-tale inclined, Secret Witness. Your civic duty awaits, snitches and good Samaritans alike.