In a plot twist that even the most seasoned soap opera writers could not conjure, the political theater of the U.S. just hit a new peak of absurdity.
Picture this: a Republican, who is secretly a registered Democrat from Ethiopia and moonlights in the Israeli Defense Force, loses an election to — wait for it — another registered Democrat who dared to run as a Democrat.
But hold on to your hats, folks! It gets juicier.
Remember Ronna Romney McDaniels? Yep, the same McDaniels, still reigning over the National RNC. She’s been playing fairy godmother with her financial wand, sprinkling cash on that Republican-in-disguise.
And in a revelation shocking precisely no one, it has been confirmed that Obama’s spying on Trump’s presidential endeavors was indeed the real deal. But who needed confirmation?
It was about as surprising as finding out your neighbor’s dog barks.
Now, onto the grand finale of today’s circus: a national security threat, fresh off the assembly line, care of the Deep State. They’re up to no good again, crying about some weapon Russia or China has test-fired and are hiding in outer space.
Cue the panic buttons, folks, and the $60 Billion for Ukraine!
Shootings at the Super Bowl parade, a Florida mall, and a Georgia high school—all conveniently timed with the emergence of the “threat.” Coincidence?
You be the judge.
But fear not, for House Intel Committee Chair Mike Turner is here to save the day, armed with urgent letters and a serious clown face. He is demanding declassification faster than you can say “classified.”
And when you thought the rollercoaster ride was over, a swarm of elected officials suddenly remembers a meeting about this threat they knew about for a month. Oh, the amnesia of politics!
But wait, there’s more!
According to some, this threat-capable thing is like finding out your favorite show was not renewed — disturbing, but not an immediate crisis. Way to keep us on the edge of our seats, folks.
In conclusion, being an American these days feels like running a marathon through a hall of mirrors — exhausting, disorienting, and you’re never quite sure if what you see is real or Memorex. It is how the Deep State likes it.
So grab the popcorn, folks, because the show must go on.
The Old Blog in the Desert 