Funny Money

While on my morning walk I saw a $100 bill. Turns out it was one of those dime-store novelties with a picture of the Mona Lisa where Ben Franklin should have been.

It triggered a memory that I had long forgotten about. This too involves a $100 bill.

She was my first customer. I had barely opened the door before the woman came in wanting a roll of film processed.

She filled out the envelope and I told her it would be a little longer than one-hour as I still had to warm up the machine and complete my chemical check. She said okay, handed me the roll of film and left.

An hour and 15 minutes later she came strolling back in to the shop. I had her film processed and laid the packet on the counter in front of her.

In her hand she had a couple of waded up one dollar bills and new looking $100 bill. I was getting ready to explain there had been a problem with her film when she screeched, “99 cents!”

Her reaction caught me off guard and I didn’t know what to say. Then, as she hurriedly stuffed the ones back in her pocket, she handed me the $100 bill.

“I can’t break that, I don’t have enough cash on hand,” I told her. “You’ll have to take it someplace else.”

“It’s federal law – you have to take it!” she barked.

Having regained my composure, I asked, “What part of the Constitution is that in?”

“It’s not in the Constitution,” her voice mad.

“Well, if it’s not in the Constitution,” I rebutted, “I’m not obliged to take it.”

“Its legal tender,” she countered, nearly shouting.

“Hey, the federal government might print it,” I returned, “but the Federal Reserve is the one that issues it — and the last time I checked, it’s not a part of the federal government.”

Her face turned red with anger and I thought she was going to explode. “I’ll be back!” she screamed, as she headed out the door.

The funny thing is – I was going to let her her have the roll of film for free, since there were no pictures on the negative to print. She made a fuss over nothing and lied to boot.

She never returned to the shop. Instead, as I learned later in the day, the police busted her for having passed several phony $100 bills all over Crescent City.

What a weird memory, I thought as I continued walking.

The a few driveways further up the street, I saw something shiny, reflecting in the morning sun. It was dime.