Single Sentence Theses

Bumper stickers are generally an entire thesis in one sentence. In the last couple of months I’ve written down a few:

“All men are animals and some make nice pets.”

“Grow your own dope – plant a man.”

“Never judge a girl by her bumper sticker.”

“Have you ever experienced déjà vu? Have you ever experienced déjà vu?”

“I’ve lowered my expectations to the point where they’ve already been met.”

“I’m not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing.”

“Jack Kevorkian for White House Physician.”

“You know you are getting older when Happy Hour is a nap.”

“Getting second place means you won first place as a loser.”

“I’ve upped my standards, now up yours.”

“When all the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.”

“Never eat more than you can lift.”

“Watch out for the idiot behind me.”

“The fastest way to a fisherman’s heart is through his fly.”

And my favorite: “Very funny Scotty; now beam down my clothes!”