Bass Ackwards

Kay purchased a new bedside alarm clock shortly after her old one stopped working. It has easy to see numbers with a nice back-light and a gentle-sounding buzz that won’t jar a person from their sleep.

She set the time and the alarm and tested the new clock out the day before she put it to use for the first time. Unfortunately she didn’t hear it go off that morning because she also sleeps with a fan to drown out background noise made by others still up and knocking around after she’s in bed.

When she awoke, she realized she had less than five-minutes to get ready, get out of the house and get on the road before she’d be late for work. Later, when she returned home, she said she made it out of the house in about four-minutes and still managed to make it to work with around ten-minutes to spare.

The she added, “But the strangest thing happened to me on my last break as I was getting out of the restroom.”

I waited.

“I realized something was odd about my pants,” she continued, “They felt funny as I pulled them up and that when I noticed…”

Kay paused, “They were on backwards!”

“What?” I asked, not certain if I had heard her correctly.

“Yeah, they were on backwards most of the day!” she returned.

Then she explained, “I decided to wear my slip-on jeans, you know, the ones that are like a pair of sweat pants?”

“I know what you’re talking about,” I said.

When she first bought them, I had teased her that they looked sort of like the kind of pants a parent would buy for their toddler. They don’t have a real fly or front pockets in them and slide on even over bulky diapers.

Then she chuckled, “The worst part is nobody realized the fake zipper thingy was in the back and I walked around work all day like that.”