Stamped as Stupid

While stationed at Brooks Air Force Base for technical school, I decided to go buy some postcards to send to family and friends. I also needed to buy some stamps since I forgot to get some at the base post office before they closed.

After finding about a dozen postcards, I headed to the downtown post office, where I stood in line. What makes this story different is the fact that when around folks with “southern accents,” I tend to pick up their “twang.”

As I stepped up to the window and asked for a book of stamps, I couldn’t help but lilt a little Texan. The woman didn’t seem to notice until I took the book of stamps and stuck them in my back pocket.

“You ain’t from ’round here?” she asked.

A little surprised, I answered, “No, I’m not. Why?”

“No one put stamps in their back pocket,” she stated, “‘cuz they’d stick together.”

“Oh, thank you,” I responded as I pulled them from my pants and placed them in my shirt pocket.

As I headed for the door, I overheard her say to one of her co-workers, “Bless his heart.”

I later learned that was a short southern prayer for: “Dear Lord, Please look out for the person as he’s either stupid, lacks common sense or both. Amen”