Absolutely Positive

Peter Adair died in 1996, five years after releasing his independent documentary, “Absolutely Positive.” It is a film about the lives of eleven people and their experiences living with AIDS.

For some reason I was watching the local PBS station when it came on. As I sat on the couch of our little apartment living room, watching this documentary, I saw a face I knew all too well.

My reaction was to jump up and scream, “No f–king way!”

Sitting at our dining table, my bride asked me what was the matter. I told her: “I jus’ saw Mom and Del on T.V.”

“What?” she asked as if not believing me.

She then sat down next to me to watch. By this time I was shaking from fear, grief and a lot of anger.

My mind raced — how could she not say anything to me? Why didn’t she warn me about this movie? How did she get it? How long would she live?

“Holy shit! What a way to find out,” I recall thinking.

I tried calling her and Del, but there was no answer.

Later, I found out they were at a premier party for the film. That, to me, was like rubbing salt in a fresh wound.

Being head strong — I decided to not speak to Mom for a long while afterwords. I refused to make myself available to talk if she called and I failed to answer her letters.

I made it ALL about me — rather than who and what it was really all about.

It wouldn’t be until after Kyle was born in mid-1992 that I decided it was time to let “bygones-be-bygones.” After all she had a deadly disease and what time I would have with her and Del would be precious.

Del passed away in 1997, while Mom lived until 2002. Neither one of their death certificates indicate their deaths were caused by the virus.

(Ed. note — My step-dad, Del is in the upper left corner of the poster, while Mom’s picture in the lower right corner. As for the film, it can be purchased through Amazon. com or your favorite online movie retailer.)