The Figure on the Floor

Every athlete from Margaret Keating School was given an invitation to dinner at 7th Grade Teacher and Coach Jeff Neyenhouse’s home. The house used to belong to a fellow named Jack, who owned a fishing camp on the south side of the Klamath River.

The home, now owned by the Neyenhouse’s, was located north of DeMartins Beach and jus’ below Robin Kohse’s parents home along Highway 101. The house had a fantastic view of the Pacific Ocean.

Shortly before we were to sitdown to dinner, we kid’s got to playing around with a few of the Neyenhouse’s decorative objects. One in particular held a fascination for many of us: a dark, wooden figure of a half-naked woman.

I was looking at it when Pat Patapoff took it away from me

He tucked the figure between his legs and was pumping his hips into the girls as if  he were having sexual intercourse with them. Everyone was laughing at his antics.

Seeing what Pat was doing, Mr. Neyenhouse told him that the figure he was playing with was a “fertility goddess.” Pat had no idea what the teacher was talking about, so Mr. Neyenhouse continued, “It’s supposed to help couples get pregnant.”

The look on Pat’s face said everything as the figure dropped from between his legs and to the carpet. He then walked into the kitchen and Mr. Neyenhouse picked the figure up and placed back on the shelf where it had been.