My Shoe Killing Dogs

So much for simplicity and organization after a visit from that famous lawyer, Mr. Murphy.

I woke up this morning to find my black lab and pit bull playing tug-of-war with one of my black slip-on shoes.

And jus ‘behind them were the remains of one of my tennis shoes. I was certain it was too late to save it, as it’s tongue was hanging limply from it, yet I felt hope for my black togs.

Out the backdoor I flew, yelling and screaming like a crazy man. Both dogs mistook my flailing as some sort of play and came bounding over to me to join in.

Boy, were they surprised! I snatched both of them up by their collars and dragged them to the kennel, where I locked them away.

Locking them up wasn’t so much a punishment as it was a way of saving their young, tender lives. It was also starting to occur to them that they might be in trouble.

After retrieving all four shoes from the back yard and carefully lining them up in front of the kennel, I went back inside and fetched a rolled up newspaper. Both dogs knew then, they were screwed as the beatings commenced.

Okay, so I didn’t beat them — but man, I wanted too.

Instead I rubbed their noses in the shoes and popped them on their little doggie-heads several times all the while repeating, “No! No! No!” The sound of the newspapers, ‘thwack’ between their ears is loud and scary, but it doesn’t hurt them.

Now I have to go buy another pair of black slip-on’s and another pair of tennis  shoes.  So much for saving money!

Can dogs get athlete’s foot of the mouth?