Miss Lotty of the Laundromat

Well, the repairman came to the house on Monday and for nearly a hundred bucks declared our washing-machine dead. So this week we’ve been wearing all of our clothing until today when all the dirty clothes hampers were over flowing.

I took Kyle to school and then headed for the Laundromat.

As a kid we had to do this when our washer or dry broke down as well. It was never very much fun and to be honest I felt that old feeling of dread as I pulled into the parking lot and set my truck brake. However, all that dread was washed down the drain by a 71-year old wash woman named Miss Lottie.

She pointed out the best of the washers to use and even helped me get the settings right. Next we started talking. At first it was really about nothing and then it turned to more family history.

Come to find out she, like my father migrated to California from Oklahoma. That’s where our conversation started a new twist, because I discovered that Miss Lottie is a walking encyclopedia of Okie jokes.

It has been a long time since I heard a really good Okie joke. I mean good, with a drawl and everything.

Before I realized it, my laundry was done and it was time to head home. At least I managed to remember 5 of the dozens of jokes she inter-laced in her stories about Oklahoma.

1. What’s the difference between a California Okie and a bag of manure? The bag.

2. An Okie Preacher told his congregation that for the biggest donation any member could get three hymns. One widow near the front wrote out a check for a thousand dollars and immediately stood up and pointed to him, him and him.

3. A Texas rancher decided to visit this Okie farmer. He told the Okie farmer that he had a ranch so big, it took all day to drive around it. The Okie farmer replied that he once had a tractor like that too.

4. What do they call Okie pall-bearers? Carry-Okies.

5. An Okie father and son go to Tulsa to see the big city for the first time. They encounter an elevator and are fascinated by the fancy doors. They watch as a mean and nasty woman gets on the lift and the doors close behind her. When the doors open again a beautiful brunette steps out. Suddenly the father says to his son, “Quick, boy go get yer ma!”