Erin Go Braless

St. Paddy’s Day has come and gone, thankfully. I tend to stay home anymore because I no longer drink or party as I did when I was younger.

In fact I have been known to attend AA and Al-Anon meetings the last few years just to help myself stay away from excessive drink. I still likes me Killian’s Red at times and the wagons a hard seat to sit.

Therefore I try never to lecture others about it. But that is another story for another time.

What I want to share is the fact that I have a number of friends who still make the party scene and tend to get blasted especially on holidays where drinking is socially acceptable. St. Patrick’s Day is chief among these.

Thi·s is the tale of one of these many friends whom I have given permission to call me anytime, day or night should she need a ride home. For the sake of her privacy I will change her God-given Irish name to another God-given Irish name — Erin.

Erin went out around 2000 hours on March 17th and proceeded to get lit up with the rest of the crowds in downtown Reno. She called me around 0200 hours the following morning (March 18th) saying she had enough and was broke.

She was so broke in fact that she couldn’t afford a taxi and would I please come and get her. I told her I would be there in less than half an hour.

She was at the Club Cal-Neva, so it was not all that difficult for me to find the place. However exactly where she was inside the casino I was not all the certain about. That is until I went up stairs.

It didn’t take me long to find her or the two women beating the crud out of her as everyone else stood around watching, including an aged security officer.

Usually I don’t like to mix it up when it comes to women brawlers. I prefer to let the law handle it. Yet I couldn’t allow this to stand as they had Erin at a complete disadvantage.

You see, they had her blouse ripped off her and she wasn’t wearing any under garments. It was suddenly obvious to me that it was difficult for her defend her dignity and herself in a fight, not to mention two against one.

I stepped in and tossed one of the women aside and found myself confronted by a nasty drunk who swore I was picking on a defenseless lady. My friends — ladies do not act the way this woman was acting.

Eventually this drunk found himself under attack by this ‘defenseless lady ‘ therefore clearing the way for me to take care of the other woman beating on Erin. I was not as lucky with her as I had been with the first of the two.

She rushed me head long as I tried to help Erin up. I was able to side step the attack and she bounced head first off the side of a one-armed bandit. This knocked her senseless for the moment.

Still no one was lending a hand to help protect Erin’s privacy and I could not find even the slightest shred of her blouse anywhere. It was only a few seconds of searching that caused me to conclude that some sicko decided to keep it as either a souvenir or else to make certain he had the best opportunity at a peep show.

I finally pulled off my sweat shirt and gave it to her.

The following day — which was actually March 19th — Erin came over to the house to apologize for getting me into the situation I got caught up in. She feels bad because she knows my back is so bad.

I told her not to worry about it and that there was nothing to apologize for, because these things happen. Erin also thanked me for rescuing her four times that morning.

I asked her how I did that.

She said that I stopped the fight. I covered her up when she was half-nude. I gave her a ride home. And finally she said she wants to quit drinking.

That’s when I pointed out that I didn’t have anything to do with the fourth one. I told her that was all her own doing. I told her she is rescuing herself.

After all it was a decision she made all by herself.